Jonathan

The first time I write a document (my therapy homework) in a local document instead of Google Docs in over two years, the file gets b0rked. Criminy.

Drained. Appointments with the p-doc and the therapist yesterday. Only got two hours of sleep beforehand.

No more clomipramine. It's evil. Only medication I've ever just stopped taking without consulting the doctor first. On to Luvox, the last of the simple options.

Then a rather unpleasant therapy session, where I said about twelve words and stared at my feet the whole hour. Afterwards, for my therapy homework, I wrote a short piece on how I see myself. It came out grim. Really grim.

So after one botched install, where I pointed the bootloader at a non-existent disk, I now have Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit up and running on the new hard drive. Now I'm in the always fun bit of remembering which non-default applications I need, sorting out the restricted media codec tangle, and transferring odds and ends from the Windows disk. All in all, it could have gone worse.

So, my new 640GB HDD from Newegg arrived today. Popped it in, all seems well. Now I just have to wait 6 days for Ubuntu 9.10, remember all the stuff I used to know about partitioning, boot-loading, /etc/fstab, and the like, and I'll be ready to roll.

I was pondering aloud about my computing quandary, and my brother suggested a blindingly obvious compromise solution. While I've dual-booted before, configuring a single-disk setup is a pain, and I didn't really want to do it again. The obvious solution? Drop a second, clean hard disk in the box and put Linux on it. No (or at least not much, hopefully) mucking around with the MBR or complex partition schemes, and I'd still have Windows for the 10% of things Linux can't do, or at least can't do well. Why this particular setup didn't occur to me, I don't know.

Now, my mind isn't completely made up, but at $100 or less, that's a very compelling competitor to a Mac.

Ah, there's nothing more fun than being an OCD and panic-sufferer on a new med (clomipramine), particularly one from a class you haven't used before (a tricyclic antidepressant, in this case). AM I LOSING FEELING IN MY LEGS? HAS IT PARALYZED MY LARGE INTESTINE? AM I GOING TO GET ORGASMIC YAWNS?

I hate the med-go-round.

I really hate computers, sometimes.

I'm not satisfied with Windows, I'm not satisfied with Linux, and I'm not sure I'd be satisfied with a Mac.

Okay, pluses and minuses.

Windows
Pluses: already have it, familiarity, lots of software, universal compatibility, robust search.
Minuses: poor performance, hair-tearing file-management problems, effectively zero shell scripting ability

Linux
Pluses: Free, not Windows, familiarity, no new hardware needed, solid performance, good file-managers, full shell scripting ability which is well-integrated into the GUI(s).
Minuses: comparatively little software, unpolished software, crappy GUI search, restrictive package management or compilation and dependency hell - pick one, compatibility problems, poor documentation, endless troubleshooting, inconsistent interfaces, holier-than-thou user culture.

Mac
Pluses: Not Windows, nice enough interface, apparently solid performance, robust search, integrated system, plenty of software, software of generally high quality and polish, mostly compatible, full shell scripting ability
Minuses: Requires highly expensive new hardware, unfamiliar, file-manager is kind of a mess, using shell scripts from GUI seems possible but requires some voodoo, computers are sealed boxes with little or no DYI repair, iMacs have all the disadvantages of notebooks (integrated display, underpowered hardware) and only some of the advantages of desktops (big display, much cheaper piece-by-piece), cooler-than-thou user culture.

Any advice, oh interwebs?

So, for the last week or so, I've been messing around with Flickchart. It's an amusing little diversion, though I actually don't care much for ranking art (yes, it all counts) like that.

What I find interesting, though, is that it incidentally provides a count of how many movies you've seen in the course of your life. So, far I've got 553 movies on my list, despite holding myself to the standard of having seen the entire movie, preferably in one sitting. Not only that, but there are a significant number of films that I've seen that aren't in their database at all, so the real number is probably well north of 600. And that's also not including roughly 100 movies I've seen on MST3K, since those are so heavily modified as not to count, in my view.

Now, I don't know how my total compares to the average person, but it sure seems like a big number. A lot of time spent. Factor in repeat viewings, and it's even more. Funny how you can really startle yourself when you sit down and quantify things.

Criminy, is there anything more dysfunctional that Windows Vista's file management? I find myself rebooting into Linux just to move and delete files, then booting out again, because it's faster than staying in Windows. Not to mention that it seems to be the only way to get rid of some files once their Windows permissions get screwed up. Even the Admin account can't delete them!

C'mon, Apple; I want to give you money, here. Just give me Snow Leopard and a hardware refresh.

<obvious>It really sucks not having running water.</obvious>

I generally find the first day of summer to be one of the most depressing days of the year. Usually, by the time the solstice rolls around, it feels to me like it's already been summer for two months, and it should be on the wane, not just starting. Laws, I hate the climate of the South. I'm just not genetically built for this latitude.

At least now the days are getting shorter.

I need to start looking through my Spam folder more often. Their subject lines have gotten much more entertaining over the years. I offer these real examples from within the last three weeks.

"If night missile isn't stiff enough"
"Your rod will be faultless weapon"
"Use mind to improve your fang"
"Step on the arousal glory way"
"Where the early pumpkins blow"
"Women will be your resigned slaves"
"Improve gender activities"
"What can I make it from? I have no flour"
"Energy to tear her ham wallet" (Dude, ow)

ETA: "Expand your manliness spire"

This is so fucking made of fail it makes my head spin. Time to break out the torches and pitchforks.

So I rated Quantum of Solace as "Didn't Like It" on Netflix. In a rather dramatic overreaction, it then suggested I try Maid in Manhattan, Miss Congeniality, and The Wedding Planner.

"If you don't like Quantum of Solace, then by God you don't like action movies, sissy man!"

I can't decide which school of thought on the flu epidemic is more obnoxious: the "OMG we're all gonna die!!" school, or the "It's all a big conspiracy to benefit the drug companies, and anyway it's not killing that many people yet so why worry?" school.

I think the single biggest inhibition I have about potentially getting a Mac, more even than the Apple Tax, is Mac users. I'm not sure I've ever seen a population with such a high proportion of snotty, douchebag elitists. And I used Linux for the better part of a decade!

There's a strong thread of resistance in me against tacitly becoming One of Them. I despise the whole, "you are what you use/listen to/watch" school of personal identification.

So, I'm doing something I never thought I'd do again: running Linux. I haven't taken the full plunge; I'm using Ubuntu 8.10 under Wubi. And it's not bad. A lot of the problems I had over the years have been ameliorated; however, they're still there in varying degrees. It's just that Windows has been driving me nuts lately.

I should have just held out for the Mac last time, back in 2007. I was going to, of course, but then Apple went and delayed Leopard and updated machines for 6 months. I guess we'll see how my finances look when Snow Leopard lands.

Ah, computers, without you, what would I have to aggravate me?

Therapy is hard.

Sick (which would be the first time in nearly 18 months), or possibly allergies. There are few things I hate more than a sore throat.

Snow is neat. Power outages fucking suck, though.